My hands are tied

The shower is approaching. I'm very excited. Very very. I think it'll be great fun!

I'm realizing that this whole wedding thing is truly helping me to understand myself that much more. There are the "typical" things, like really getting a sense for what J means to me, what I want our wedding and the start to our marriage to be like - getting a sense of my style by clearly defining what activities, decorations, music, etc I will and will not have on the day.

For the shower, what's hitting home is that I'm not really great about letting people do stuff for me.
(Funny that. I'm thinking I'm writing about a huge personal revelation and when I actually get it typed I realize it's one of my key problems at work!)
I'm itching to DO SOMETHING for the shower. I want to help. I want to make food. I want to get there early and decorate. To help with directions and transport.

Instead, it's been taken away. My hands have been tied and left idle. I don't even know where it is- - so I can't help people get there.
Well, we'll see. I may sneak something in.
Having a house to clean for shower visitors and FILs visiting next week does help to distract - a bit....